Saturday, May 26, 2012

Monitor Lizards


Dear Joanna,

Did you know that monitor lizards can count? According to Wikipedia, they can count up to six, as well as work together to steal eggs from other lizard’s nests. I don’t know about you, but I find this terrifying.

I keep imagining I’m on vacation in India or Australia, anywhere the lizard makes its home, sleeping peacefully on crisp white sheets in a hotel by the beach. I jolt awake, not know why until I see the lizard at the bottom of the bed.  It advances slowly, keeping its black, empty eyes trained on mine. Its claws are leaving tiny triangle tears in the sheets. The moonlight turns its brown scales into a suit of pearls.  I try to move: kick it away, jump out of the bed, anything. Nothing works. I’m paralyzed, trapped in a bed with deranged foot-long lizard. 

I can’t look away as it reaches my left hand, slowly takes my thumb into its mouth, and with one savage twist, rips it off. I scream. It doesn’t stop the lizard from counting my fingers as it slowly eats them one by one.

Needless to say, this makes me very glad I live in Chicago, fat away from the natural habitat of the monitor lizard.

Love,
Gena

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